Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Garfoose on the Loose

There's been a bird (Mark Fidyrich), a few mooses (Moose Haas, Moose Skowron), a penguin (Ron Cey), an antelope (Emil Verban), a cobra (Dave Parker), a rhino (Ryne Sandberg), and even a kangaroo (Davy Jones). But baseball has never had or seen anything like The Garfoose.

The Garfoose, a fire breathing, magically empowered, indestructible, wifi enabled, half giraffe half moose is the protector of the sacred Baseball Grove where the world’s most perfect baseballs are found, hanging in bunches upon baseball trees.

Some say like a Cubs World Series Championship, he doesn't actually exist. Some say he's an imaginary friend, second cousin to Harvey the Rabbit.  Some say he's a creation of the mind of pitcher Dirk Hayhurst.

BSOD says, "Phoooey", he does exist, and we have the interview to prove it.  Our original plan was to sneak into the Baseball Grove where he lives and protects the sacred baseballs (or Garfooseberries as they know them), and to capture him by blaring music by umpire Country Joe West until he just couldn't take it anymore.

However as we moved in closer, and finally caught a glimpse of the Garfoose via telescopic camera, one sight of those teeth and glare (see picture above), we thought better of it.  So, we took the next best approach.  We decided to Angus MacGyver (yes, Angus was MacGyver's first name) the scope with a coat hanger that we carry around, and send electronic messages directly to the Garfoose via it's wifi enabled antlers.

In this Baseball Song of the Day elusive exclusive (we were only able to capture and hold his attention for a few minutes before he escaped), we were able to find out the following information:

Hello Mr. Garfoose. Thank you for taking time out of foraging for baseballs to answer a few questions.

Q: Do you have a first name?

Garfoose! (Garfoose)

Q: I've heard that you are wifi enabled. If so, do you download or stream music? Are you a Pandora, or kinda Garfoose, or do you prefer to download?

Garfooooooooooose! (Pandora)

Q: What are some songs that you have been listening to lately?

GARFoooooooSE (White Knuckles by OK GO, Jumping Jack Flash by the Rolling Stones, and the entire In Rainbows album from Radiohead)

Q: What's your favorite baseball related song?

GARFOOOOOSE!!!!!!! (I hate baseball songs, I hear then every freaking day and I can't take them anymore!)

Q: If you were manager and had to select from the following to pitch the 7th game of a World Series, whom would you choose: Dick Drago, Bob Moose, Joe Berry, Steve Fireovid, or "Moose" Skowran?

Snake Plissken Chronicles #1GarfOOOse? (None of the Above. I would take Snake Plissken, though I know he's not a baseball player per say, I think he could get it done)

Thank you Mr. Garfoose. Looking forward to writing about you and reading and promoting your friend Mr. Hayhurst's book.

Garfoose =) ( No, THANK YOU, and if I was to eat you or any of your friends, don't take it personally).

Majestically yours,

The Garfoose

BSOD 4/10/2010: White Knuckles
Artist: OK Go
Released: 2010

White Knuckles Lyrics

You'll never get that taste, out of your mouth
You'll never get the paw prints, out of the hen house now
And you can't go back, same way you came
Round all the pieces up, but they just dont fit the same

White knuckles
Maybe it's not so bad
So let your hair down now

White knuckles
Yeah maybe it's not so bad
Aww go ahead and let it down

So come and let it all out, let it bleed
Did you get what you want? Did you get what you need?
Behind the lines, behind the walls
Tell me what's the bet you made, was it that bad after all?

White knuckles
Yeah maybe it's not so bad
So let your hair down now

White knuckles
Aww maybe it's not so bad
Just let it all come down now

So just have fun, it's far enough
Everybody needs to sleep at night, everybody needs a crutch
But couldn't good, be good enough?
Cause nothin' ever doesn't change but nothin' changes much

Yeah, maybe it's not so bad
So let your hair down now
White knuckles

Aww maybe it's not so bad
Just let it all come down now

Yeah maybe it's not so bad
Just let your hair come down now

Oh maybe it's not so bad
Just let it all come down

Related Links:


The Bullpen Gospels: Major League Dreams of a Minor League Veteran (Paperback)
The Garfoose is a good friend of Dirk Hayhurst; pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays who recently underwent shoulder surgery and will be rehabbing in 2010 on his way back into the game.

Dirk has chronicled his way through the minor leagues and into "the bigs" and has just released a book titled, "The Bullpen Gospels" which is receiving massive praise from the baseball pundits and fans alike.   Here's some reviews:

Bullpen Gospels is a rollicking good bus ride of a book. Hayhurst illuminates a baseball life not only with wit and humor, but also with thought-provoking introspection.

--Tom Verducci, Sports Illustrated.

 “Bull Durham meets Ball Four in Dirk Hayhurst's hilarious and moving account of life in baseball's glamor-free bush leagues.”

--Rob Neyer,

“Yes, Virginia, there is a big-league ballplayer who can write a memoir all by himself that is not a whistle-blowing, naming-of-names diatribe, but rather an intelligent, articulate, profound, brutally honest, self-effacing, funny, touching book about the painful but rewarding relationship between baseball and life.  Dirk Hayhurst’s The Bullpen Gospels is a from-the-heart, refreshingly stereotype-busting account of a year in his minor league pitching career that reveals him not as a number on a uniform or a bunch of stats or a grinning face on a baseball card, but a vulnerable, humble, flesh-and-blood real person with real feelings.  Gospels is a funny bone-tickling, tear duct-stimulating, feel-good story that will leave die-hard baseball fans—and die-hard human beings, for that matter—well, feeling good.”

--Bob Mitchell, Author of Once Upon a Fastball, and Match Made in Heaven

So, what are you waiting for?  Go buy the book already.

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